May
26
2010
0

American Idol: The Final Snooze

матраци

We open with a picture show of all the millions of people who have auditioned for Idol over the years. I hope there are no people with epilepsy watching, cuz the flashes will kill them on the spot. It’s like a super fast picture show of broken dreams and busted ass faces.

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Missing Since 2003

May
26
2010
0

American Idol: A Year Without a Summertime

This shit’s almost over, so let’s not waste any time and instead get right to the obligatory “Tink’s Tall” shot of the evening.

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Unfortunately, he eventually has to make it down the stairs and boom. Short again.

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Short people got no body.

This is the fight over who gets to sing Skara’s super shitty finale song of the year! And THIS. IS AMERICAN IDOL!

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May
26
2010
0

American Idol Results: Linda Granger Rides Again

Tonight on American Idol, we are treated to visions of gay hell and the story of how Harry got herpes.

We all get that reality isn’t really real on TV. So when Rocky music plays and the audience screams and the judge’s comments are edited down to “in it to win it!” “brilliant vocals!” and “you look thin with the snake hair!” we know it’s an illusion. Sometimes, though, you have to put your foot down and just call bullshit.

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Why stop at enlarging the hat? Why not just take away his eight chins and his manboobs too? LIARS!

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