Welcome to the reunion!! The show’s over, but there’s plenty of drama to be talked out. Hoser and Possible Stalker Leah made out, Possible Stalker Leah and Hoser made out, and two fugfugs totally made out. Excited? Me too.
Andy Cohen: Bobblehead
This week on Top Chef, a midget tried to bang a big girl and we found out that Fabio’s way gayer than we could have ever imagined.
This week on Top Chef, an old lady wets herself, Hosea reinvents butter, and that weird kid from Jerry Maguire grows up and names a restaurant after a can of oil.
Did you know that the sky is blue cuz it reflects the sea?
On this week’s very special Top Chef Super Bowl challenge, we get to give Beaker a dental checkup and Juanita finally gets some screen time.
Thanks for flossing.
Previously on Top Chef, the Christmas spirit overtook Daddy Tom and he served up some sugar after basically calling everyone a bunch of low level line cook hacks. Just when they thought all was lost….”YOU’RE ALL STAYING! MERRY CHRISTMAS!” Then the chefs erupted into a huge, joyous party and hugged and thanked baby Jesus for being born. Just kidding. The biggest loser in this Christmas beat down was Diet Dr. Pepper, who paid good money for a really miserable endorsement.
You know what’ll make you feel good? Not a Diet Dr. Pepper, apparently.
This week on Top Chef, as a special Christmas gift we learn once and for all that Fabio’s hung like a shoe.
These two put Team Rainbow to shame.
This week on Top Chef, Scar smokes a bowl and gets so hungry that she bites off Gail’s cheek right before her wedding.
This week on Top Chef, Rocco DiSpirito shows up. Thankfully, he’s not in sequins.
She just had a taste of Rocco’s frozen food.
This week on a very special Thanksgiving Top Chef, Ariane doesn’t cry, Prettyish Boy gets ugly, and Jamie starts to reveal her inner c word.
Damn. I was hoping for Huey Lewis and the News.
This week on Top Chef, Ariane’s a weenie.
No, we don’t deserve you. Please shut your pie hole, lady.
Another season of Top Chef has come to an end, but there are still lots of questions left unanswered. Why did Cliff get so violent with Marcel? Why did Frank drink so much? And how in the HELL did Ilan win this thing? Wait. Sorry. That was last year. There wasn’t too much drama this season, just a lot of passive aggression and, gasp, cooking. Don’t worry, though. This cast may not have given us fireworks, but it’s the most sensitive group to date which means there are lots of hurt feelings that need to be (quietly) talked out now that all’s said and done. God, please let me see Baldhawk cry. Love, Flipit.
Aw, Dawson. Let it out.
It’s finally that time! This season, we’ve had weeks off, a filler episode starring Ilan (still haven’t forgiven you, Bravo) and an unfulfilled double elimination. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted!
This week, Top Chef taught us you should never let a caveman touch your food, being really high changes everything, and a grandfather who escaped Vietnam trumps a boring old French grandmother any day.
Game on!!
This week, Top Chef taught us trout isn’t a fish, too many patterns are a bad sign, and if you wanna win a reality show, ya gotta have heart.
I vant to eat your zoul.
This week, Top Chef taught us that imitation isn’t always the sincerest form of flattery, personality can carry you way further than actual talent, and French grandmas are liars.
Eh, a chicken’s a chicken.
This week, Top Chef taught us when in doubt, blend, New Jersey’s not Manhattan, and Congress is responsible for sucky airplane food.
Scar gives props to the Bunny.
We’re past the half way mark and now it’s time to see our Chefs really shine! Right? RIGHT? Get your life vests, this is gonna get ugly.
This week on Top Chef, we learned all the drag queens in the world can’t make Smurf Village a classy place, “beautiful people” can sometimes mean fat bald dudes and the hags that love them, and when in doubt, use puff pastry. Unless your Judge hates carbs. And excuses. And sweat.
Why you little devil!
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