FlipitTypes TV – Recaps, Gossip, and Trash Talk

This week on Toddlers and Tiaras, judge rigging! Giant hair on tiny bodies!! The most adorable serial killer ever born!

I lost a toof bitin’ out some guy’s juguhler.

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On this year’s Tournament of Roses Parade, Hannah Storm behaves inappropriately with a puppy and scares children.

Mommy that puppy’s crying!

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It’s Christmastime! That means there ain’t crap on TV. Actually, scratch that. It means there’s ONLY crap on TV. But there’s no good reason not to watch it!! Enter TVGuide Channel with the story of the year. It’s about how a face like this….

….did this…

Christmas Miracle!!

All I really know about Susan Boyle is that she looks like a fat, unkept Donny Osmand and became an international sensation for singing a Patti LuPone song. Since it’s always been my dream to become an international sensation for singing like Patti LuPone, I thought this might be one biography I should snuggle up with this holiday season. Join me, won’t you?
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This week on Real World Brooklyn, Devyn gets taken down a notch by a tranny.

If there was a cork big enough, I would stick it in there right now.

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***Slow Christmas week! Over the next couple of days we will be re-airing some recaps from Christmas past. Here’s our favorite sad horns character of all time, Mr. Charles Brown. Enjoy and Happy X!
There may not be new episodes of…well, anything on right now, but luckily it’s the holiday season, meaning crappy Christmas movies are aplenty. Unluckily, the scribes of the world have already pretty much given up on Christmas. How many times will I have to watch that nasty ass Scrooge learn his lesson, and in how many incarnations? There’s the Albert Finney version, the Bill Murray version, and my personal favorite, the Susan Lucci version, where Susan’s forced to watch her own horrible acting in the past, present and future until she learns how to be nice to people. This year, I’d like to put my shallow need to laugh at horrible performances in Lifetime movies to rest and watch something that really touches me. When does American Gladiators come back?

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There may not be new episodes of…well, anything on right now, but luckily it’s the holiday season, meaning crappy Christmas movies are aplenty. Unluckily, even before the writer’s strike began, the scribes of the world had already pretty much given up on Christmas. How many times will I have to watch that nasty ass Scrooge learn his lesson, and in how many incarnations? There’s the Albert Finney version, the Bill Murray version, and my personal favorite, the Susan Lucci version, where Susan’s forced to watch her own horrible acting in the past, present and future until she learns how to be nice to people. This year, I’d like to put my shallow need to laugh at horrible performances in Lifetime movies to rest and watch something that really touches me. When does American Gladiators start?

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HereKittyKitty did show up to work this week, but she was still so drunk that we had to lock her in B-side’s old office with bottles of Ibuprofen and Evian. Seriously, the woman is acting like a maniac. She’s been singing the “I Wear Short Shorts” commercial all morning. Alcohol is very, very bad.

Anyhoo, no more time to waste. We have a very (typical) happening episode of The Real World to get underway, so let’s do this! (more…)

HereKittyKitty didn’t show up to work this week over at the ‘gasm because she needed to get her drink on, so I stepped in. I have been throwing Twinkies at my TV all season, and thanks to Kitty’s alcoholism, finally have an outlet to release my rage. And now, for the five of you still putting up with this show, it’s time to stop being productive members of society and start getting real(ly desperate for entertainment). This is The Real World Reunited: Las Vegas! (more…)