Tink starts off by telling us that tonight, one contestant will face the fire! Finally! They’re gonna just start cremating the eliminated contestants. I guess someone over at FOX is listening to my voicemails after all! That’s democracy! And THIS. Is American Idol Results!!
Pitchy heathen!
Tonight, Hambert pees all over the Grand Ole Opry. Eleven left. THIS. Is American Idol!
It’s hard to not like a person who can steal from Elvis, Madonna and Liza all at once.
Tonight, on American Idol Results, dreams get multilated and ripped limb by limb not once, but twice! And the Judges change the Constitution. Can they do that?
Paula, your ride’s here!
Tonight on American Idol, Tink’s Nana gets Jungle Fever, Corkey has a seizure, and Paula does her best to turn into Michael Jackson right before our very eyes.
Bad.
Tonight on American Idol, dreams are stamped out at twice the speed!
I’ll still take your credit card number, honey. Don’t cry. BUY.
Welcome to the reunion!! The show’s over, but there’s plenty of drama to be talked out. Hoser and Possible Stalker Leah made out, Possible Stalker Leah and Hoser made out, and two fugfugs totally made out. Excited? Me too.
Andy Cohen: Bobblehead
Tonight on American Idol, Uncle Phyllis goes back to teaching volleyball at an all girls school and the In and Out stays one Chola safer for at least another couple of weeks.
Sorry Gay Best Just Friends, you have been replaced by a Christmas Ham in an Elvira wig.
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