FlipitTypes TV – Recaps, Gossip, and Trash Talk

This week on Top Chef, it’s Restaurant Wars, babay!

Ahhhhhhh!

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Previously on Top Chef, the Christmas spirit overtook Daddy Tom and he served up some sugar after basically calling everyone a bunch of low level line cook hacks. Just when they thought all was lost….”YOU’RE ALL STAYING! MERRY CHRISTMAS!” Then the chefs erupted into a huge, joyous party and hugged and thanked baby Jesus for being born. Just kidding. The biggest loser in this Christmas beat down was Diet Dr. Pepper, who paid good money for a really miserable endorsement.

You know what’ll make you feel good? Not a Diet Dr. Pepper, apparently.

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According to TMZ, Kelly Rutherford Van der Woodsen is getting divorced from her hubby. And she’s pregnant. Ok, so yes the timing should have been better on that one but WHO CARES?!? I JUST FOUND OUT THE NAME OF HER FIRST SON. Hermés Gustaf Daniel Giersch. Hermés?!? REALLY? I call child abuse! Sure, little Hermés might not be subjected to torture at public school, because he most likely doesn’t attend public school. But eventually that kid has to show up in public somewhere and introduce himself as ERMAY. An ass kicking will follow. Or Paris will just cut him up and wear him over her shoulder on a gay date with Clooney.
Are more important things happening in the world? Yes. Israel and Hamas are still lobbing bombs at each other, our economy’s in the tanker, we’re on the brink of the end of times blahblahblahblah. But take a moment, put your own problems aside for a second, and really think about it. Hermés. If you’re not at least a little mad you’re un-American.

So wow. George Clooney and Paris Hilton, huh? George is probably sick of having to by his beards houses and shit when he dumps them. Just get a rich one! Well done, George. Well done. Just more proof that gay dudes love Paris!
And why wouldn’t we? Last week when the press jumped all over her for blowing $4,000 bucks at Wayne Cooper in Sydney during a time when most Americans were getting fired and put on the bread line, she simply answered “I’m doing it to help the economy.” Of Australia. LOL. Get off her ass, people! At least she didn’t ask the Government for her swag! She worked hard for it by….I don’t know how to finish that sentence. Anyways, good luck you two! And Paris, if he’s not touching you for a few weeks it’s just because he’s a gentleman.

Xinhua/Reuters Photo

This is how I pose when I get out of my car in front of Jon’s Supermarket in East Hollywood.

This week on Top Chef, as a special Christmas gift we learn once and for all that Fabio’s hung like a shoe.

These two put Team Rainbow to shame.

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This week on Heroes, a lot of people die, a lot of movie plots are ripped off and Ando is inexplicably given more to do.

If you gotta go, go with freshly applied gloss.

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***Slow Christmas week! Over the next couple of days we will be re-airing some recaps from Christmas past. Here’s our favorite sad horns character of all time, Mr. Charles Brown. Enjoy and Happy X!
There may not be new episodes of…well, anything on right now, but luckily it’s the holiday season, meaning crappy Christmas movies are aplenty. Unluckily, the scribes of the world have already pretty much given up on Christmas. How many times will I have to watch that nasty ass Scrooge learn his lesson, and in how many incarnations? There’s the Albert Finney version, the Bill Murray version, and my personal favorite, the Susan Lucci version, where Susan’s forced to watch her own horrible acting in the past, present and future until she learns how to be nice to people. This year, I’d like to put my shallow need to laugh at horrible performances in Lifetime movies to rest and watch something that really touches me. When does American Gladiators come back?

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