FlipitTypes TV – Recaps, Gossip, and Trash Talk

Previously on Big Brother, Mike was evicted for being a dumbass, Kail was saved by the hairs on her chinny chin chin, and Dustin won the HOH. Will he be a kind ruler, or an evil dick? Will he stop acting like a stereotype and get his paws off the drama queen? Will he ever change his shirt? I’ll give you a hint. The answer to all the above questions is NO. Boooooo!!

Yeah, no shit, Amber.

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On tonight’s very special episode of Top Chef, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

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Last week, Paula was not treated like the gift that she is and her Jewelry Rep Guy at QVC had the nerve to ask her to pay for jewelry for the entire cast and crew of American Idol. THE NERVE!
She’s still stuck in Philly waiting to get a plane out to NY to do the Letterman Show. Will it work out, or will she miss another chance to make an ass out of herself on national TV? Only one way to find out! This is Holy Mother, Did You Really Just Say That, Paula? !

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Hey! Schoonie and Flipit here! We missed our live blog this past Sunday so we’re making it up tonight!
It all seemed so cut and dry coming into this episode. Jen and Kail were up for eviction and it would be a pretty tough call as to which of these masterpieces would go home on Thursday… But as we’ve learned, the veto competition can change everything! Will it tonight?
Come along! This is the Big Brother Veto Competition!

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Previously on Big Brother, KAIL’S SCREWED.

When Bad Things Happen to Bad People

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This week, Top Chef taught us that it’s not safe to run with knives, France and Argentina are two different countries, and if you aren’t very pretty or worked out but you still want to act, learn Spanish.

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Previously on Big Brother, Jen was an idiot, Eric spoke in morse code to America with his wackadoo eyebrows, and Amber cried and begged God to help the bump on her head from that darned tether ball to stop swelling.

It’s all fun and games til’ someone gets head damage.

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Last week, Paula threatened to come after a reporter who suggested she drank, she tried to move the clouds with her garage door opener, and she spun around in a lot of circles without throwing up. Well done!!
As if sensing that our heroin was looking like she was on heroine on national TV, Bravo has changed the theme song from “Straight Up” (Do do ya love me?) to “Nice Guys Finish Last”. If that doesn’t make you “AWWWWW!” then you are a cold hearted bitch. Welcome! This is Jesus Christ, Paula!

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Hey! Flipit and Schoonie here again for our second live recap of Big Brother. We’ve had some good times this week making fun of Amber’s conversations with God and Eric’s wacko eyebrows in our own recaps, but nothing is more fun than kicking back and ragging on this show with a friend.
So sit back, loosen that tie (or slip off the Spanx), and for crying out loud, watch out for the tether ball. It’s time for Big Brother: LIVE!

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Micah Crazy Pants was sent home in the last episode, and I was seriously worried that I’d be bored not having that psycho energy around anymore. Well, shame on me for not having faith. If there’s not a fire, Bravo will light a match and start one. Did they reinduct Betty for another round? Nope! Did they bring suicide guy back for a final nudge off a bridge? Nope! Even better! They delivered the season’s first team challenge, which turned normal, sweet players into complete wrecks in less than an hour! Burn, baby, burn!
This week, Top Chef taught us there’s a club for everyone, bikinis can’t cook, and you only have to be married for three years to get alimony.

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Previously on Big Brother, Jen WAAAAHed about her fugly picture on the wall of shame, the hot guy was covered in butter, and Kail proved that you don’t have to be able to properly speak the English language to run half a town.
Tonight, Jen’s a dumbass, Amber gets dissed by God, and Daniele pigs out. That last one’s a lie, but a boy can dream. Come on, sweetie. You’re scarin’ me.
Let’s do this!

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I am not the kind of person who can just sit with bad news all alone in my apartment. I have to share it with the world!! Tsunami in the Indian Ocean? Call me! A new war brewing with Iran? Let’s have lunch! Oh, Paula! still isn’t cancelled? Call Mary Jane and get your butt to my couch. We’ve got a train wreck to tailgate!

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Hey guys! There are new recaps out, but they won’t be posted here for a couple days because I am officially working over at the ‘gasm now. I have loved the house that J-Unit and B-Side built for a long time, and I am honored to have a chance to get it into fighting shape again. TVgasm was the first place I ever read a recap, and it was the place that inspired me to spend this much time making fun of people on TV. So thanks for both ruining my life and giving me one, gasm.

Thanks for what you made, Joe and Ben. I hope I can honor what you did and make you proud. LOVE.

Big Brother: Jen Tried To Kiss Me

Hey, Paula!: Mad, Saddened, And Not Drunk At All

PS: I will still be updating this site (just two days later) and writing Trash Talks, so don’t disappear. Thanks for reading and making me laugh every day. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

xoxo
Flipit

by Schoonie and Flipit

Whatup fools, it’s Flip and Schoon! Since we are teaming up to recap the show this year, we thought it might be cool to have a bonding session and liveblog the premiere for you. Spelling and punctuation are pretty bad, but hey, you didn’t come here for English class! We’re here for the brand new start of our favorite show!

Welcome to Season 8 of dumdumdum…..Big Brother!! (more…)

As I recapped my first episode of this show the other day, I thought to myself “Why would Paula open her show with a falling down drunk episode? How stupid is this woman?” Well, as it turns out, she’s in good, falling down drunk company.

Nice work, bonehead!

That was actually her second episode. Her first makes a Hell of a lot more sense, and she’s sober the entire time. Boooooooo! Ah, well. That doesn’t mean I had to be! Throw a couple back (you’ll need em) and join me for the first episode ever of my favorite new train wreck: Woooooah, Paula! (more…)

I have a pretty busy Summer of recapping about to commence over at the ‘gasm, but when I saw the pilot episode of this show, I couldn’t resist throwing together a romp through Crazy Town for you.

I found that it was pretty difficult to describe exactly what went down (nailing Paula’s English alone can take hours) in words, but I did my best. I have never felt such joy, pity, jubilation, and grief at one time. If you have any Vicodin, Percoset, or hell, spray paint to ingest, pull it out now, put your hands in the air and HOLLA! All together now! HEY, PAULA!! (more…)

Time for fireworks, swimming pools and weenies! July 4th? Nope. Tonight my friends, Bravo brought us loyal fans together to celebrate freedom. Not from Great Britain (that’s old news), but from another psychotic, neurotic, discombulatic freakshow. I’ll celebrate The Declaration of Independence next Wednesday. For tonight, The Declaration of Pack Your Knives and Get the F Out will do just fine, thank you.

This week, Top Chef taught us that conch shells are a sign of doom, family dinners made you the fat ass you are, and if an old person gives you no reaction, they probably hate you.
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