HereKittyKitty did show up to work this week, but she was still so drunk that we had to lock her in B-side’s old office with bottles of Ibuprofen and Evian. Seriously, the woman is acting like a maniac. She’s been singing the “I Wear Short Shorts” commercial all morning. Alcohol is very, very bad.
Anyhoo, no more time to waste. We have a very (typical) happening episode of The Real World to get underway, so let’s do this! (more…)
HereKittyKitty didn’t show up to work this week over at the ‘gasm because she needed to get her drink on, so I stepped in. I have been throwing Twinkies at my TV all season, and thanks to Kitty’s alcoholism, finally have an outlet to release my rage. And now, for the five of you still putting up with this show, it’s time to stop being productive members of society and start getting real(ly desperate for entertainment). This is The Real World Reunited: Las Vegas! (more…)
Family barbecues can be wonderful. They can also be bloody hell. I guess it depends on your family. Mine chooses to go to restaurants. If we’re gonna spend uncomfortable time avoiding each other’s gaze, we’d rather do it with air conditioners and waiters. Stress and confontation is easier to deal with without sun and burnt weenies. This week, Top Chef taught us not to copy loozahs, if you suck, compensate by being as loud as possible, and for chrissakes, follow instructions! (more…)
The first episode of any reality competition is a bear to recap because there are so many new faces to get to know and rag on. The Season 3 opener of this show is no different, and as usual, the lessons are aplenty. This week, Top Chef taught us to always be on time, don’t drink at work, and before you go on TV, make sure you see a shrink first because daddy issues have a way of manifesting themselves at severely inopportune times. (more…)
David Chase has still not confirmed whether or not Tony got whacked in last Sunday’s finale, but he has come out and said the theory about Bobby and Tony’s conversation on the fishing boat being a premonition is the “most accurate”. Bobby says when it’s all over, you won’t even know it because everything will go black. Uh…so he did die? AAARGHHH. I’m sorry I’m not deep enough to be ok with it all. I can’t be the only person left who just. Needs. CLOSURE!
Angelina Jolie’s crossed the line with the press. What now? Did she show up to another interview with a vial of hick blood around her neck or obviously shoot up before a meeting? Did she steal David Arquette from Courtney Cox or call one of her kids a racist slur? Nope. She asked for privacy. BITCH!!!
Last week, the Sci-Fi channel threw a Battlestar Galactica Gives Back party in Hollywood. Unlike another show this season which I won’t mention (if I have to hear “This is My Now” one more time I’m stepping on a baby. I’ll do it!), we weren’t pressured into helping needy children or forced to think about malaria or AIDS and no one was asked to actually pony up any cash to better humanity. No Katrina families were saved at this Gives Back event, but for one magical night, a lot of geeky ass weirdos felt cool at a big Hollywood party, and for that I give thanks. It’s the first night I haven’t felt like the bearded lady since I moved here. Drop your inhibitions at the door and come with! No reason to feel insecure, we’re totally the hottest people here! This is Battlestar Galactica Gives Back! (more…)
It’s time for another season of Top Chef! Wait. No, not yet. First, we have some unresolved bs to hash out. How in the hell did a wack hack like Ilan WIN this thing last year? My blood is still boiling. And what ever happened to Tiffani from Season 1? Did she recover from her loss, get her freckly, bitchy butt back on the horse and try again? This show has produced some of the most immature apes I’ve ever come across, and I want…no I NEED to know what happened to them.
Call Domino’s, cuddle up with a bottle (or 3) of the finest (2 buck Chuck) vino, and binge like Nicole Richie without double doses of Trim Spa and massive amounts of coke. What? It’s my free day! Welcome home! It’s time for Top Chef: Miami! (more…)
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