Trash Talk: Tuesday, May 15, 2007

BBC Reporter John Sweeney finally lost his shit all over an Elder after spending six months filming a documentary on Scientology. And when I say he lost his shit…wow. Turn the volume down on this one.

This is me when my Starbucks order is wrong.

The man looks completely irrational, right? Sweeney wrote a long letter of explanation, and it’s pretty juicy. He’s been followed, he’s caught people snooping around his friends and family asking questions, showing up at hotels they shouldn’t know he was staying at. Scientologists are wackos. SHOCKER.

Tonight I was in line at the bank and caught a CNN story about these big Scientologist laid crop circles only visible from the sky for the aliens to know where Ron L. meant them to land. We all know these people are fruit loops, Mr. Sweeney. Just Treat them like you treat any crazy person you come across. Smile big and cross the street.

John Travolta is in a tizzy and has vowed to get this doco banned because of Sweeney’s behavior, so we might not ever get to see beyond the (mostly) pretty faces of this fucked up cult. Boooo, John Travolta! If you’re trying to get us to forget Wild Hogs, it’s not working.

Make it stop.

Just in case there’s any doubt that Scientologists are boners, check out this guy.

ASS KICKIN’ GRANDMA SAVES MOTHER’S DAY

TOLEDO BLADE A riot broke out in an Ohio Golden Corral over a baby’s right to scream it’s ass off this Mother’s day. A 24 year old woman was sitting at a table with her 1 yr. old, who was having a fit. A 56 year old woman, sitting at the table next to her, asked repeatedly for her to “do something” about the brat, but was ignored. Finally, she lost it and told the kid to “shut up!” The young mother jumped out of her chair and started wailing on the older woman, which cased fifteen other people in the restaurant to start punching each other and rioting.

The real shock here is that anyone in the Golden Corral put down their forks long enough to have any interaction at all. I don’t know about you, but when I visit the Corral there is no war. Just mac and cheese and huge white dinner rolls.

The good news that came out of all of this is that a new wresting team has been formed in Ohio called the Cry Babies. Represent, boys!