Trash Talk: Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Today in Trash Talk: Kim Bauer’s many violent deaths, The Boy Scout Break-Out comes home, and Paris and Nicole torture fat kids.
ELISHA GOES TOO FAR
According to the Hollywood Reporter, After Dark Films had to take down 30 billboards and 140 taxi tops promoting their new movie Captivity because they were grossing people out. Elisha Cuthbert was on them. EW! No, wait she’s totally hot. But that wasn’t the problem. In each image, she was dying a different kind of horrible sickening death. Her face covered in gauze, tubes up her nose. Bloody finger through a fence, rear shot of a dead Kim Bauer. Ok, gross. And yes, they should be taken down. I don’t want to have to look at a mutilated actress every time I leave the 7-11 with a ketchup smothered hot dog (what? They’re cheap and delicious!) half in my mouth, but what about other disgusting images that are allowed to rape our brains? If we’re gonna ban disturbing pics from the public eye, we shouldn’t stop at Captivity!
BOY SCOUT BREAK-OUT
AP NC citizens and America breathed a sigh of relief Tuesday when the missing Boy Scout was found. He supposedly ran away from a Scout camping trip because he was homesick, but when he was found dehydrated and dazed, his first request was for a helicopter to get him out of there. Odd request from a terrified twelve year old? Not really. Turns out the kid’s favorite story is about a boy lost in the wilderness. What did I tell you, parents? Don’t read your children books!
He either had an overactive dream life or he hated the Boy Scouts (they’re scary when you’re nothing like them) and ran for it. Either way, Michael Auberry , you are a hero to little chunky effeminate musical theater kids everywhere. Well, at least to this one.
PARIS AND NICOLE GO TO FAT CAMP
Speaking of pitiable fat kids… this Page Six tidbit is two days old, but I just came across it and had to pass it on. Paris and Nicole got yet another season of Simple Life, and it’s set in a fat camp. This will be torture for the girls, who most likely won’t take fat kids lightly, as well as torture for the poor kids, for obvious reasons. It’s not bad enough your parents fed you like a farm hog and betrayed you to a bunch of skinny psychos advocating movement and caloric abstinence, you have to look at these two for a week?
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I would not let my child (if I had one) anywhere near Paris and Nicole. Be they fat or skinny.
The boyscout wanted a helicopter ride? Don’t we all, sweetie?
Now I’m wishing for a 7-11 hot dog and a milky way!
The story I heard about the boy lost in the woods was that he was homesick and tried to find his way to the highway so he could hitchhike home. I’m not sure which version is sadder/funnier.
Nicole Richie needs a Milky Way and a 7-11 hot dog.
what are you talkin about? she looks totally healthy!
That boy scout story stinks bad if you ask me…. he ‘wandered away in 50 degree warmth in hat, gloves, and TWO coats…and he took food…. and he heard rescuers calling him…. he just could not respond’ loud enough’…. he just read the boys adventure book “Hatchet”… about surviving in the elements… And he refused to go on a hike that very morning and made an adult leader sit and baby sit his ass so the other scouts were under supervised and this prima donna sat on his nerdy behind… Then they came back and he eats lunch….. Then decides to hitch hike home… right, like the scouts teach that hitch hiking is a great thing to do……. This kid planned his adventure and If I was his scout master he would be gone. And if I was his parent he would be grounded for a long time… Good Rob when he was found he had crackers and when the dog found him bitched because the dog ate the crackers…….. and he wanted a helicopter..and he asked in a press conference that his teachers don’t give him home work the the days he missed of school…… shoot him…. or shoot me……and he looks like a nerd… and his parents blamed his ADD…. I want this family charged with the search and rescue.. bitch bitch bitch bitch…. He is an embarrassment and should be forced to work with ALGORE
the day is not complete until i hear from you, giff. i agree about the kid. that’s why i thought it was hilarious. i had dreams of running away from camp as a kid, i just didn’t have the balls. this kid is a drama queen, and i love it. he is probably so psyched to be on the news.
As a mother of the year candidate who has actually lost her kid in the woods at dusk. (Found him within an hour) I want to tar and feather the kid. I was creeped out by the adult staying behind with the kid. Hope this kid gets punished big time.
Hey Flipit. First time at yer site. Nice! First J-Unit’s new blog and then this? I’m never going to get shit done at work again. Despite the best attempts of the media to make this boy scout thing into a feel-good story, it was like trying to spray perfume in a stinky bathroom: they couldn’t quite cover the stench. This kid is some kind of sociopath and I’m sure we’ll be getting a lot more of this story in the days to come.
hey jasonr! i didn’t know about junits blog thanks for the tipoff and welcome buddy.
campfire, i know it is easy to laugh but i had a dream of living in the mall as a kid ( i swear) so hid in a clothes rack so my mom couldn’t find me and they searched all day. she still freaks out when she tells the story. not funny to moms, only single people
I live about an hour away from where Christopher Barrios Jr., the 6 yr old Georgia boy who was murdered. I won’t go into all the gruesome details, but suffice it to say there wasn’t a person in this area who wasn’t deeply affected by what happened, including childless, single people like me. When I said in the other post about the boy scout’s disappearance was funny, I only meant the circumstances surrounding the boy’s motivations and his return. There’s absolutely nothing funny about a missing child but the boy scout’s story highlights the ridiculousness of the situation of a boy who apparently wanted to get out of a couple of days of school work and take a ride in a helicopter.
yeah this story would have been much less hilarious had the kid been brutally murdered.