Mini-Recap: The View: Tuesday, March 20, 2007
I wasn’t going to write about The View today because frankly I wanted to binge at the Soup Plantation and go see 300 instead, but I can’t just let a filling dish like today’s pass me by. This is not a full on blow by blow, but today’s ep is definitely at least worth a page or two. I don’t want to tell you happens in the first paragraph, so I’ll just give you a hint. Posie mells Gelizabeth roff. Again. Yaaay!
First, Rosie shows us the Louis V purse that she made. Hilarious. She took a canvas purse from Target, cut it apart, and glued shit to it. She included a fur headband that Elizabeth gave her, which is the tackiest part. Nice work.
Elizabeth was chided in the elevator this morning for letting her almost-two year old to hold on to her pacifier even though she’s getting too old for it. How dare someone give parental advice to a stranger? Ugh. I would go a lot deeper than the binky. Guest Judge Audra Mc Donald talks about taking her chubby baby to the doctor and getting dissed by an obese nurse. “Did the doctor talk to you about how fat your baby is?†She snapped “No, has he talked to you?†Go, Audra.
Joy talks about hot flashes and Rosie suggests she visualize them away with positive thinking. The Secret is slammed again for awhile and Joy says the book suggests if you want to be thin, not to look at fat people. “How rude!†LOL. I don’t remember that part, but I’m starting to like The Secret more and more.
Rosie plugs the newest tacky View mug and reads a monologue written by the Stouffers people. They’re giving away LASAGNA? Good Lord, The View. Next they’re gonna be handing out Jack in the Box antennae balls. This ep is bore snore so far, but Bobby Kennedy’s youngest daughter Rory is up next to talk about her HBO doco on Abu Ghraib. I hope they ask her about the newly uncovered FBI report that implicates her father in the death of Marylin Monroe! I doubt it, but I am clutching my grateful stone and visualizing all the way through commercials.
Rory sticks to Abu Ghraib. She tells us that the soldiers all did what they were told, and their torture orders came from above. Elizabeth says surely no one told them to put the naked suspects into a pyramid or sexually suggestive positions, and Rory says that yes, in fact, those were the orders. Elizabeth presses onward and asks flat out if any kind of torture is ok. Rory says no. Going back not only to the Geneva Covention, but all the way back to George Washington to make her point. When the British were terrorizing and beheading everyone, Washington said that when caught, they should still be treated with respect because we are better as a nation than that. Even though they deserved torture? Oy, Elizabeth. Rosie points out that there are kids in Abu Ghraib, and Elizabeth excuses them, but what about the people who aren’t innocent? Can’t we torture them? Rory says torture should never ever be a tactic. It’s not only inhumane, it has a very small success rate. Elizabeth says it’s unfair to criticize the entire Army’s methods of information extraction over a couple of bad apples and Rosie cuts in.
“Elizabeth, you can ask a question, but you can’t just sit there and blather your opinion.†THANK YOU. She says the woman is there to talk about her book and she proved that it wasn’t just a few bad apples. The Army was and is acting under orders from the Administration, so unless she has a question, shut the fuck up. This is why Rosie can sound like an ignorant bull dyke headed dumdum a lot of the time and I will always love her. In Elizabeth’s entire run on The View, has anyone ever put her in her place so beautifully? Joy’s face is priceless.
Elizabeth isn’t fazed. She says that officers were arrested and the problem has been remedied, so what’s the big deal? Rory corrects her. Only a few low ranking officers were charged with crimes even though there are mountains of evidence that prove the FBI and our Administration not only condoned, but advocated torture. To top it all off, most suspects are let off without a charge because they were innocent. Elizabeth says that’s too bad, but what about the big bad terrorists who have info that we need right now. If we don’t have time to “relationship buildâ€, how do we get answers fast? Rory reminds her that 24 is just a TV show and Jack fronts a really lame band in real life.
On a lighter note, I LOVE BEA ARTHUR. Golden Girls? Helloooo! I went to see her one woman show a couple years ago and she did a whole five minutes on preparing lamb chops. How can you not love that? My first thought is DAMN, Bea Arthur’s old. She was adorable and charming as ever, and when asked how Maude (which comes out on DVD this week) got away with tackling such controversial subjects, she reminds us that you can say whatever you want. As long as you’re funny.
Remember, Fantasia is on tomorrow to sing from The Color Purple! LOVE U ‘TASIA! Until tomorrowish, enjoy the view!
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I was hoping you stuck around after host chat, to write about this gem of a argument. According to them today, all is fine with those two.
I absolutely love when politics are discussed. Elizabeth is sticking to Bush with glue, be it right or wrong.
Sadly, no Fantasia.
And then there’s Maude. Bea does look old, but look at Adrianne’s girls. Wow.
I was hoping you watched this show. I had the same expression Joy had when Rosie told EH to not blather on. OMG… you could see she really had a hard time hold her tongue the rest of the segment. She let EH speak her mind and prove to us all what an idiot she is.
I loved Bea too !!!!!1
I think we should just start a rumour that E-Beth is well placed spy for the Taliban. We should make sure to include that she has inside information about a number of Taliban operations. It’s not like she would be against being tortured for information.
may what are you doing looking at adriannes girls? did you buy her book, too? you little minx
and pearl, i have already made calls from a payphone. cross your fingers
as bad as Ebeth is i am also sick of Rosie… she is so full of herself she verbally vomits out stupid parts all the time… she eventually will cross the wrong person (joy) and will go doen in flames… you notice she talks to Ebeth in a way she would never talks to joy or barbra, they would knock her double hung ass quicker than all the words made it out of her mouth…..
rosie is a stone cold bitch, but she made the show exciting again so i like her. and she does crack me up. dunno why, she always has. have you ever read her blogs? they are fucking insane haiku. she is a nut, you are right, but at least she is entertaining (to me). e beth is just a retard. and not the cute kind in lifetime movies. the kind who gets spit on you on the bus and recites endless loops of nonsense they hear other people say.
Flipit you are right on both counts Ebeth is a blond who married the quarter back and was kicked off Survivor… great credentials to pick up the Conservative torch… and yea I started watching THE VIEW again because of Rosie but she is wack in so many ways…. like the sister who always starts shit at Thanksgiving… when all anyone wants to do is eat turkey, stuffing, and pie.
Rosie is like a car wreck that I can’t look away. I don’t always agree with her, but damn she is funny to watch. Elizabeth is ignorant, and immature.
rosie is suck worthy and gives me hours of feeling superior laughs…
elizabeth is a pretentious prig who gets her panties in a wad over assinine minutia.
hb
AMEN
“Elizabeth, you can ask a question, but you can’t just sit there and blather your opinion.â€
Substitute ‘Rosie’ for ‘Elizabeth’ in that sentence, and it pretty much sums up the View now. Rosie, sitting and blathering away about nonsense.
i know! i have to update and write up another episode. rosie has officially lifted her middle finger at the cameras and it’s CRAZY the shit that’s coming out of her mouth.