FlipitTypes TV – Recaps, Gossip, and Trash Talk

Tonight, the girls who suck consistently are awesome and the awesome girls suck. Way to change it up, Idol!

Well, at least someone’s consistent.

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The Oscars were full of self love, dirty looks, and even some pretty dresses! Come on in!

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Wow. Tonight’s American Idol results is full of greatness. If this is what a subpar season looks like then I’m ALL IN.

I don’t really have anything to say about this, but yay for kinda pretty people!

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Tonight on Project Runway, PeeWee Herman comes up with a new character, Emilioth pronounces a bunch of stuff wrong, and a giant bites off Jaysian’s head.

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Tonight on American Idol, Skara says things that I knida agree with two times, most of the girls blow chunks, and OrganiJoplin lives!!

It’s nights like this you wonder how this girl didn’t get on the show.

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Tonight on American Idol, there is a lot of sitting on stools. The favorites fall hard, and the weaker contestants rise to the top. And lots of guys do pushups.

Yes, Skara. WE CAN HEAR YOU.

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The View ladies sat down with Octomom on the 23rd. Have you guys watched? Sherri calls her out on laughing like a maniac and Whoopie gives her the “Glenn Beck told lies about me” look the whole time. Octo talks about how she’s dating again and writing a book. She can’t promise not to have any more babies (she’s already got 14), cuz who knows? She might find love again and get married and what if he wants kids?!? If you can find a man who wants the feeling of making love to a warm closet, you can worry about having more kids, you NUT.

This has nothing to do with TV, but I felt it was important to tell you guys that a drug addicted alcoholic chimp was sent to rehab. This should have happened sooner so we could have seen how he would interact with Tom Sizemore on VH1. Update: the chimp was surprised to wake up and realize he was a lesbian. See, Lindsay? It’s not just you.

Nads needed a vaca, so I’m all yours today. You know what that means!! Let’s go to People.com and make fun of moronic celebrity adventures!!

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Kirstie Alley: Diet Guru? LOL. The thing that’s most special about Kirstie is that SHE’S NOT KIDDING. All week she’s been tweeting (yes, I follow her on Twitter you guys. Cuz life’s too short not to laugh your ass off at any crazy person you can on a daily basis.) about how she’s going on Oprah! WOWEE! She promised us a very very special surprise! So special that she’s not gonna announce on Twitter? That is special. Let me guess. She’s going on a diet. Yup! But the twist is, so are you!!

We’re both getting too old for this shit.

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Tonight, America makes some harebrained decisions and Kris comes back to remind us that he wasn’t second place on American Idol. This….is American Idol Results!!!!!

Not lookin’ good for Aloha.

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Oh, Chikezie. What have you gotten yourself into? He was arrested yesterday for identity theft. He was trying to buy cologne under someone else’s name at Neiman’s. Now he’s in jail and he most likely still stinks. Dumbass. I am waiting for confirmation on this, but the name on the fake card is said to have been Isaac Washington.

The producers are dead set on a girl winning this season of American Idol, so each one of them has to be physically fit and at least semi cute. The guys are set up to lose, so they can be as fug as they need to be. Thankfully for us, this means we’ll at least get to hear some decent singing this year. At this point I don’t care if you look like a monkey. Just don’t suck.

You’re gonna be fantastic. On the radio.

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Tonight, American Idol is back with performance shows!! The 12 girls take the stage and mostly suck butt. But at least they’re thin!!

Time to make the donuts.

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Tonight on Project Runway, Nina eats babies, designers act like little girls about working with little girls, and we witness the return of an old friend!

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This week on Project Runway, more pointing at vajays, less red, and THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE EVAH!! Hint: Not really but ok let’s watch it anyway.

Why is it Bible beaters always have lotion on the bedside table? Cuz that’s a sin.

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Nads needed a little time off today, which means I get to go to People Magazine and make fun of their articles. All I have to do is look at the front page once to stay happy for the whole day!

Cuz you realized college might have been a good option after all?

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So wait. There’s NOT a pill that will make you thinner without any effort on your part?? THAT’S CARAAAZY! Jillian Michaels of Biggest loser fame is being sued for fraud. Fat people have taken her pills and are still fat. Uh, I’ve paid for Weight Watchers Online since it began and I’m fatter than ever. If there are any lawyers out there, call me.
I listened to Jillian’s radio show when it was on the air, and it was some fascinating stuff. “Jillian, help me! I’m fat!” “Eat less and exercise.” WOW! STUNNING BREAKTHROUGH! I’m kinda surprised that she would be in trouble for selling fake crap when I can’t remember her ever advocating diet pills, but I guess you gotta make that money while you can. Cuz then your star fades and you ride off into the sunset, buy a house in the middle of the woods, and get fatter than Jabba the Hut. Ok my dream leaked a little into this story, sorry.
Point is, fat people should know better. One thing that goes unspoken amongst us is: DON’T TRUST SKINNY BITCHES. If you need to lose weight, start a coke habit and don’t eat anything. It’s called perseverance, and it doesn’t come in pill form. Who am I kidding? I’m fat until the miracle pill is finally released. Stay tuned!

Tonight on Project Runway, hearts, soup, and raft inflations.

Most creative, well thought out design of the episode.

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This week on Toddlers and Tiaras, judge rigging! Giant hair on tiny bodies!! The most adorable serial killer ever born!

I lost a toof bitin’ out some guy’s juguhler.

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