FlipitTypes TV - Recaps, Gossip, and Trash Talk

According to TMZ, Kelly Rutherford Van der Woodsen is getting divorced from her hubby. And she’s pregnant. Ok, so yes the timing should have been better on that one but WHO CARES?!? I JUST FOUND OUT THE NAME OF HER FIRST SON. Hermés Gustaf Daniel Giersch. Hermés?!? REALLY? I call child abuse! Sure, little Hermés might not be subjected to torture at public school, because he most likely doesn’t attend public school. But eventually that kid has to show up in public somewhere and introduce himself as ERMAY. An ass kicking will follow. Or Paris will just cut him up and wear him over her shoulder on a gay date with Clooney.
Are more important things happening in the world? Yes. Israel and Hamas are still lobbing bombs at each other, our economy’s in the tanker, we’re on the brink of the end of times blahblahblahblah. But take a moment, put your own problems aside for a second, and really think about it. Hermés. If you’re not at least a little mad you’re un-American.

So wow. George Clooney and Paris Hilton, huh? George is probably sick of having to by his beards houses and shit when he dumps them. Just get a rich one! Well done, George. Well done. Just more proof that gay dudes love Paris!
And why wouldn’t we? Last week when the press jumped all over her for blowing $4,000 bucks at Wayne Cooper in Sydney during a time when most Americans were getting fired and put on the bread line, she simply answered “I’m doing it to help the economy.” Of Australia. LOL. Get off her ass, people! At least she didn’t ask the Government for her swag! She worked hard for it by….I don’t know how to finish that sentence. Anyways, good luck you two! And Paris, if he’s not touching you for a few weeks it’s just because he’s a gentleman.

Xinhua/Reuters Photo

This is how I pose when I get out of my car in front of Jon’s Supermarket in East Hollywood.

This week on Top Chef, as a special Christmas gift we learn once and for all that Fabio’s hung like a shoe.

These two put Team Rainbow to shame.

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This week on Heroes, a lot of people die, a lot of movie plots are ripped off and Ando is inexplicably given more to do.

If you gotta go, go with freshly applied gloss.

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***Slow Christmas week! Over the next couple of days we will be re-airing some recaps from Christmas past. Here’s our favorite sad horns character of all time, Mr. Charles Brown. Enjoy and Happy X!
There may not be new episodes of…well, anything on right now, but luckily it’s the holiday season, meaning crappy Christmas movies are aplenty. Unluckily, the scribes of the world have already pretty much given up on Christmas. How many times will I have to watch that nasty ass Scrooge learn his lesson, and in how many incarnations? There’s the Albert Finney version, the Bill Murray version, and my personal favorite, the Susan Lucci version, where Susan’s forced to watch her own horrible acting in the past, present and future until she learns how to be nice to people. This year, I’d like to put my shallow need to laugh at horrible performances in Lifetime movies to rest and watch something that really touches me. When does American Gladiators come back?

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This week on Top Chef, Scar smokes a bowl and gets so hungry that she bites off Gail’s cheek right before her wedding.

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This week, Heroes doesn’t suck so much!

One day I’m gonna be an adult and not screw everything up. NOT!

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This week on Top Chef, Rocco DiSpirito shows up. Thankfully, he’s not in sequins.

She just had a taste of Rocco’s frozen food.

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This week on a very special Thanksgiving Top Chef, Ariane doesn’t cry, Prettyish Boy gets ugly, and Jamie starts to reveal her inner c word.

Damn. I was hoping for Huey Lewis and the News.

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This week on Heroes, Claire’s Pirate Mom hijacks a Yemeni cargo ship.

ARGH!

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The sailor outfit totally makes this pic work.

We had a technical problem here at TVgasm this weekend that ate Krank’s recap. I have the results show all ready to go, and since it’s pretty dead on the site today I figured I would throw it up here for ya. We will update with the regular finale show tomorrow! Thanks and happy holidays!
****This was a two hour event, so please be careful if you have weak browsers.

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This week on Heroes, HRG goes all Mr. Miyagi on Claire, we learn that at ten years old, Hiro was officially retarded, and Sylar gets some ass.

Hi there I’m calling to trade my one facial expression in for something, I dunno, hawter.

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This week on Top Chef, Ariane’s a weenie.

No, we don’t deserve you. Please shut your pie hole, lady.

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This week on Heroes, we find out that Meredith was the most boring character even a year before all this started, Sylar used to read a lot of books and liked musicals, and that Mama Petrelli was, for a short time, a strong black woman.

Dontchoo make me whoop yo ass, boy!

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This week, Top Chef is baaaaaack!

Finally, lesbian prisoners are given a shot!

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This week on Project Runway, a girl wins! YAY!

Someone please water Kenley before she dies.

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This week on Project Runway, Kors steals from Kenley, Kenley steals from McQueen, and Squirc steals construction paper from middle schools to finish her line.

I got you, damn fly!

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This week, the final four designers on Project Runway blow the judges out of the water and prove to America that this isn’t the worst season ever. Why else would Nina be making this face?

She’s brought out the cow print. We’re screwed.

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Tonight on Dancing With the Stars, we learn that America hates gay blind people and loves eighty two year old sluts! God bless us!

This is a pic of me and my friend/DWTS partner KrankMills. Guess which one’s which!

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This week on Project Runway, Kenley’s an a hole. Sorry was that a spoiler?

Pointy heads, frizzy hair and under eye bags are in and hot skinny blondes are out. Project Runway for President!

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