Jan
02
2009
0

Old News That’s New to Flipit: Kelly Rutherford Abuses Children

According to TMZ, Kelly Rutherford Van der Woodsen is getting divorced from her hubby. And she’s pregnant. Ok, so yes the timing should have been better on that one but WHO CARES?!? I JUST FOUND OUT THE NAME OF HER FIRST SON. Hermés Gustaf Daniel Giersch. Hermés?!? REALLY? I call child abuse! Sure, little Hermés might not be subjected to torture at public school, because he most likely doesn’t attend public school. But eventually that kid has to show up in public somewhere and introduce himself as ERMAY. An ass kicking will follow. Or Paris will just cut him up and wear him over her shoulder on a gay date with Clooney.
Are more important things happening in the world? Yes. Israel and Hamas are still lobbing bombs at each other, our economy’s in the tanker, we’re on the brink of the end of times blahblahblahblah. But take a moment, put your own problems aside for a second, and really think about it. Hermés. If you’re not at least a little mad you’re un-American.

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Written by flipit in: Trash Talk |
Jan
02
2009
0

George Clooney Begs for Herpes

So wow. George Clooney and Paris Hilton, huh? George is probably sick of having to by his beards houses and shit when he dumps them. Just get a rich one! Well done, George. Well done. Just more proof that gay dudes love Paris!
And why wouldn’t we? Last week when the press jumped all over her for blowing $4,000 bucks at Wayne Cooper in Sydney during a time when most Americans were getting fired and put on the bread line, she simply answered “I’m doing it to help the economy.” Of Australia. LOL. Get off her ass, people! At least she didn’t ask the Government for her swag! She worked hard for it by….I don’t know how to finish that sentence. Anyways, good luck you two! And Paris, if he’s not touching you for a few weeks it’s just because he’s a gentleman.

Xinhua/Reuters Photo
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This is how I pose when I get out of my car in front of Jon’s Supermarket in East Hollywood.

Written by flipit in: Trash Talk |
Jan
02
2009
0

Top Chef: Merry Christmas, Sharon Stone

This week on Top Chef, as a special Christmas gift we learn once and for all that Fabio’s hung like a shoe.

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These two put Team Rainbow to shame.

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Written by flipit in: Top Chef |
Jan
02
2009
0

Heroes: Saw for Wussies

This week on Heroes, a lot of people die, a lot of movie plots are ripped off and Ando is inexplicably given more to do.

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If you gotta go, go with freshly applied gloss.

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Written by flipit in: Heroes |
Jan
02
2009
0

A Charlie Brown Christmas: Xenu the Musical

***Slow Christmas week! Over the next couple of days we will be re-airing some recaps from Christmas past. Here’s our favorite sad horns character of all time, Mr. Charles Brown. Enjoy and Happy X!
There may not be new episodes of…well, anything on right now, but luckily it’s the holiday season, meaning crappy Christmas movies are aplenty. Unluckily, the scribes of the world have already pretty much given up on Christmas. How many times will I have to watch that nasty ass Scrooge learn his lesson, and in how many incarnations? There’s the Albert Finney version, the Bill Murray version, and my personal favorite, the Susan Lucci version, where Susan’s forced to watch her own horrible acting in the past, present and future until she learns how to be nice to people. This year, I’d like to put my shallow need to laugh at horrible performances in Lifetime movies to rest and watch something that really touches me. When does American Gladiators come back?

Snowopen

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Written by flipit in: Random Ig'nat Recaps |
Dec
16
2008
0

Top Chef: Gail Gets Some

This week on Top Chef, Scar smokes a bowl and gets so hungry that she bites off Gail’s cheek right before her wedding.

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Written by flipit in: Top Chef |
Dec
11
2008
0

Heroes: Magic Jello

This week, Heroes doesn’t suck so much!

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One day I’m gonna be an adult and not screw everything up. NOT!

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Written by flipit in: Heroes |
Dec
05
2008
0

Top Chef: Post Turkey Turkey

This week on Top Chef, Rocco DiSpirito shows up. Thankfully, he’s not in sequins.

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She just had a taste of Rocco’s frozen food.

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Written by flipit in: Top Chef |
Dec
05
2008
0

Top Chef: Bad News Honey Bear

This week on a very special Thanksgiving Top Chef, Ariane doesn’t cry, Prettyish Boy gets ugly, and Jamie starts to reveal her inner c word.

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Damn. I was hoping for Huey Lewis and the News.

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Written by flipit in: Top Chef |
Dec
05
2008
0

Heroes: Power Loss Part Two

This week on Heroes, Claire’s Pirate Mom hijacks a Yemeni cargo ship.

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ARGH!

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Written by flipit in: Heroes |
Dec
01
2008
0

Dancing With the Stars Results Show: It’s a Surprise!

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The sailor outfit totally makes this pic work.

We had a technical problem here at TVgasm this weekend that ate Krank’s recap. I have the results show all ready to go, and since it’s pretty dead on the site today I figured I would throw it up here for ya. We will update with the regular finale show tomorrow! Thanks and happy holidays!
****This was a two hour event, so please be careful if you have weak browsers.

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Written by flipit in: Dancing With the Stars |
Nov
29
2008
0

Heroes: Power Loss

This week on Heroes, HRG goes all Mr. Miyagi on Claire, we learn that at ten years old, Hiro was officially retarded, and Sylar gets some ass.

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Hi there I’m calling to trade my one facial expression in for something, I dunno, hawter.

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Written by flipit in: Heroes |
Nov
26
2008
0

Top Chef: The Rising Rate of Sugar Violence

This week on Top Chef, Ariane’s a weenie.

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No, we don’t deserve you. Please shut your pie hole, lady.

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Written by flipit in: Top Chef |
Nov
18
2008
0

Heroes: Memory Lane

This week on Heroes, we find out that Meredith was the most boring character even a year before all this started, Sylar used to read a lot of books and liked musicals, and that Mama Petrelli was, for a short time, a strong black woman.

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Dontchoo make me whoop yo ass, boy!

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Written by flipit in: Heroes |
Nov
17
2008
0

Top Chef: Share Your Passion Over There, Please

This week, Top Chef is baaaaaack!

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Finally, lesbian prisoners are given a shot!

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Written by flipit in: Top Chef |
Oct
19
2008
0

Project Runway: Bang Sisters, Tree Huggers, and Bleeding Hearts

This week on Project Runway, a girl wins! YAY!

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Someone please water Kenley before she dies.

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Written by flipit in: Big Brother |
Oct
10
2008
2

Project Runway: Spare Some Change?

This week on Project Runway, Kors steals from Kenley, Kenley steals from McQueen, and Squirc steals construction paper from middle schools to finish her line.

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I got you, damn fly!

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Written by flipit in: Project Runway |
Oct
03
2008
0

Project Runway: Natural Disasters and Tugboat Traumas

This week, the final four designers on Project Runway blow the judges out of the water and prove to America that this isn’t the worst season ever. Why else would Nina be making this face?

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She’s brought out the cow print. We’re screwed.

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Written by flipit in: Project Runway |
Sep
26
2008
0

Dancing With The Stars: I’m Way Too Manly for This Show

Tonight on Dancing With the Stars, we learn that America hates gay blind people and loves eighty two year old sluts! God bless us!

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This is a pic of me and my friend/DWTS partner KrankMills. Guess which one’s which!

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Written by flipit in: Dancing With the Stars |
Sep
25
2008
0

Project Runway: Understanding Blue Light

This week on Project Runway, Kenley’s an a hole. Sorry was that a spoiler?

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Pointy heads, frizzy hair and under eye bags are in and hot skinny blondes are out. Project Runway for President!

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Written by flipit in: Project Runway |

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