Jul 16

Big Brother: What Would Nixon Do?

Tonight on Big Brother, we find out everything we ever wanted to know about King Soloman and tar and feathering old people. Thanks, Grodner!

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And you thought I was slipping.

Jul 16

Living Lohan: Back to MySpace

This week on Living Lohan, McVana works very very hard and Jeremy gets another hundred thousand hits on his MySpace page.

Nanahan wants to be your friend!
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I’m home alone. Call me, tiger! xo NH

Jul 16

Clipgasm: Greatest American Dog

So I came home a couple days ago bitching and moaning that there was nothing on TV. And then I found a little show called Greatest American Dog on my DVR. WTH was that doing there? Had I set it to record and not remembered? Damn you, Mary Jane! That’s how I got hooked on House Flippers!
Anyhoo, I turned it on and I don’t think I have laughed that hard in a long, long ass time. I am working to find a recapper for it as we speak, but in the meantime, I would be downright selfish of me not to share my joy with you lovely people. Watch the premier at CBS’ home page and check it out on it’s regular time, Thursdays at 8!

Jul 10

Big Brother: Revelations

The Bot announced the cast of this season’s Big Brother yesterday morning on the Early Show, so we got together to get to know them a bit before Sunday’s big launch. They were almost exactly like the YouTube video leaked a few days ago. Misogynists, bimbos and Shirley McLaine made the list. Thank God for Summer!

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Someone uncross the bot’s eyes. It’s go time!

Jul 8

Living Lohan: Tracy Ullman is a Badass

I recorded Living Lohan, bitched and moaned all morning that I had to recap it, finally settled down to chain smoke and inject espresso and mocha into my veins, turned on the computer, and boom. No Living Lohan!! It was a repeat of the first episode. THOSE BASTARDS!!!
As much as I complain, I was really (deep down, waaaaay deep down) looking forward to finding out what happened to Slohan while she yapped into a microphone at the Maloof’s recording studio in their Maloof’s Palms Hotel and Casino on the Maloof produced reality show. But noooooo…..Thankfully, I found a brilliant video of Tracy Ullman dragging Dina McVana Lohan across the coals this week so I don’t have to. Love ya, Trac! Enjoy, and see you guys next week! xo

Jul 3

Clipgasm: Andy Rooney Geico Ad Outtakes

Hey guys! My buddy Lowell and I shot this video of a sketch we did this Fall and I thought you might like it. Enjoy!

Jul 3

Living Lohan: I’m Tiiiiiiiiired!

This week on Living Lohan, I MISS NANAHAN!

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I worry for you, Nanahan! Stop slutting around and get your raisin to Vegas!

Jun 18

Living Lohan: Hot Bag of Crap

This week on Living Lohan, cute dog tricks and sage advice from Nanahan:

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Your daughter just raped you.

Jun 10

Living Lohan: Bitches, Paps, and Smears

I was going to write you all a long letter thanking you for your reads and apologizing for not being able to stomach Living Lohan any longer. Then I saw that I made the opening clip!!! There I am chasing Slohan down the street spraying shaving cream in her hair and screaming “STOP TRYING TO BE LIKE LINDSAY! ARE YOU GONNA GO TO REHAB NOW?!?” Wait, I don’t remember her wearing a plastic fire helmet that day, nor do I remember that gang of kids. Darn. Different day. And now I’m hooked.

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Got me again, Nanahan!

Jun 6

Living Lohan: Burn Notice

This week on Living Lohan, Slohan dies, goes to Heaven, and is sent back until she can start being, as God put it “less of a fucking hack.” Darn.

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Looks like you might make it to Heaven first after all, Nanahan.

May 30

Living Lohan: They’re Just Like You, Only Way Better

Just when you thought TV went to sleep until Fall, a smart, sassy tough talking role model for the common woman everywhere comes along to save the day. Yes, I’m talking about Kyra Sedgewick in The Closer. But Living Lohan is on too. Welcome!

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Dang, Ali. You’re aging really quickly.

May 22

American Idol: Donna Summer Wins

Hey! T.Vo and Flipit here with a live blog of the finale! HOLLAAAAA!!! And now! For the last time this season! THIS! Is American Idol!

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Spoiler alert! Donna Summer wins!

May 15

American Idol: Dead Horses

Tonight we get three times the magic! Three times the excitement! Three times the thrills! As any mathematician can tell you, three times zero is zero. Call PETA and arrange a truck to the glue factory, cuz this horse is just about beaten dead. THIS. Is American Idol!

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Tell us a story, Paw!

May 9

American Idol: America’s Most Smartest Idol

This week on American Idol, Yoko got another free plug and I ate over 10,000 depression calories. Thanks, Nigel!

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Being rich means never having to say you’ll practice proper hair maintenance.

May 1

American Idol: Maybe Dolly Parton Week Wasn’t So Bad After All…

This week, Neil Diamond proves that he’s the only person alive who can make his songs tolerable. He’s also the only person alive that looks like Bill O’Reilly made babies with Andrew Lloyd Webber, but that’s neither here nor there. This! Is American Idol!

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Apr 28

Big Brother Live Blog: Score One For the Retahds!

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Apr 25

American Idol: You Must Hate Me, America

There are times on American Idol where you’re left saying “Well, that was quite a shocker”, and there are times that you’re throwing Little Caesars at the TV and screaming “ROOBBBBBBBBBEEED!”

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Guess what kinda night this was for me?

Apr 22

Big Brother: Ashton Kutcher Pees in the Sink

Previously on Big Brother, Sheila was forced into actually playing the game.

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Go, Cougar!

Apr 18

Big Brother: Christ Takes a Stand Against Numerology

Tonight, on Big Brother

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Is Chelsia pregnant with a giant moley mohawked baby, or is champagne a bloater?

Apr 17

American Idol: Tonight Was Brought To You By Randy Jackson

It’s been almost a full week since Idol Gives Back and if nothing else, I have learned at least one thing. Teri Hatcher will never go away.

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Dear Tink, Please leave your hags at the bar. Love, Flipit