This week on Fashion Show, Eyesack starts turning into Anne Bancroft before our very eyes.

This week on the Fashion Show, there is a very important decision to be made. Should you reward the untalented one, the flake, or the untalented flake?

You decide who’s who.
This week on Fashion Show, I have never been more grateful for my fugly ass Crocs in my life.

Nope. Still not Tim Gunn. Keep workin, though!
This week on Fashion Show, Not Beyonce struggles with simple English and a model falls asleep on the runway. Who can blame the ho?

Surviving gay cancer is like surviving regular cancer, but way more girly and unintelligible.
Tonight, it’s finale time!! There are lots and lots of senior citizens shaking their man boobs and playing meemaw anthems on their banjos, and even some surprises! Let’s join hands for one last time. Making fun of children on TV is the road to world peace. And THIS. Is American Idol!

Sorry, but you still LOSE.
Tonight, it’s between a gay ham and a yawny twink. I CAN’T BELIVE IT’S ALMOST OVER!

I will miss this sideways face.
This week on The Fashion Show, how do you dress a socialite that looks like she spent a dollar on her clothes look like she spent forty? And when did the America Ferrera catch hold?

Ugly Betty, you just got schooled!
Tonight on American Idol, Church Lady Gokey is so painful to watch dancing that he does this to a woman’s face.

REAL life. REAL fashion. REAL people. REAL cheap. Welcome to The Fashion Show!

If this picture doesn’t sum up how REAL this all is, I’m at a complete loss.
Wanda Sykes, one of my favorite comics of all time and the first openly gay headliner of the event, got laughs and boo/groans in equal measure at the White House Correspondents Dinner this weekend. Listening to how uncomfortable she made people was just delicious. It would have been nice to see her without her head so far up Obama’s butt like the rest of the compliant ass kissy media, but the digs she did get in there were pretty funny. Ragging on his lame gift of an iPod to the Queen: “What are you gonna give the Pope, a bluetooth?”
Question: When do Bush jokes become old? Obama has done PLENTY to rag on. Wanda’s probably taken it further than any other wussy comic so far, but what gives? We’ve already heard all the damn Bush jokes we can take!! Obama’s turn to get taken to town. Too much to Hope for? Hopefully the country will loosen up soon. Respect and awe are BOOORRIIINNNNNG. Check out Wanda’s routine after the jump and weigh in.

“Lincoln never had a nipple portrait.”
Tonight on American Idol Results, Daughtry’s still a midge, Gwen takes an aerobics class, and Paula is still too old to be crawling on the floor in a bustier on national television.

When in Doubt, multi-task.
Tonight on American Idol, Church Lady screams like the Wicked Witch in the rain and Paula doesn’t do drugs. Booooo!

Have you seen my puppy little girl?
Intensity. Drama. White people doing runs. Judges using the word “brilliant” way too much. Jamie Foxx saying things like “five people who shocked the world” and “throat Olympics “. Choir directors who look like lesbians with glued on chin hair.

This. Is the end of the world. And THIS. Is American Idol Results!
There are five Cylons. But who are they? And should they be allowed to breed with humans? And why does the AI stage look like the Into the Woods set? Join me as we watch the final five visit the graves of the Rat Pack and stomp on them as hard as they can. This. Is American Idol !

I wish…
Bea Arthur May 13, 1922 – April 25, 2009
RIP
Bea Arthur passed away this weekend from cancer. What a talent. God bless you, BA!! One of my first TVgasms was watching The Golden Girls, and as I found last night combing YouTube for the perfect video of Bea to post, this woman can still have me doubling over and gasping for air from laughing so damn hard. Rest in peace, sister, and thank you for all you gave us!
More videos after the jump.
MTV Rosie did an interview with People magazine and talked about the latest internet sensation, Miss Susan Boyle. We’ve all seen the video of Susan turning the coliseum of haters around to her side on Britain’s Got Talent, and everyone’s had something to say about it. I’m all for a little media saturation, especially if it gives Rosie O yet another chance to look like a complete jerk. She told People Susan was like Shrek. “Here is this freaky miss, a fat, ugly girl, like Shrek comes to life, directing energy towards her soul. This was so rare … something authentic in a world that is usually manufactured. It was a perfect moment which will never happen again.”
Rosie insists she meant it as a compliment. Uh…..thanks? I’m waiting for Susan to show her true star quality and get into a video blog war with RoRo. If you need some names to call her, might I suggest angry midget face?

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